Tuesday, September 18, 2007

I don't know why I let relationships consume me as they do, but they do, and I get depressed thinking upon them.  I'd like to think that I could be myself around friends and that they would always be around whether near or far.  I'd like to think that once a friend, always a friend.  I think it's sad that there's all these people that we meet in life - classmates that we may have never spoken to, but who we knew and spoke of, co-workers who we went to happy hour with and spent 8 hours a day with 5 days a week, and people we meet from events or friends of friends - that we lose and that if we met again, would probably pretend like they didn't see you or you would pretend like you didn't see them.  I'd like to know people, not just know of people.  I'm sad that a friend would drop me as a friend.  I'm sad that I don't fit into friend's lives.  I'm sad that people don't make more of an effort to get to know people.  I'm sad that people can't just communicate.  I'm sad that I don't know what to do.  I'm mad that I'm sad, and I'm sad that I'm mad.  Why can't you just talk to me?  Why can't I just talk to you?  I don't understand.  I don't understand you.